It’s been some time since I have posted so I thought I would pop in for a spell to share something that has been on my mind lately. I don’t have much time today so I’ll get right to it.
With great responsibility comes great power. Wait, isn’t that backwards? Well, I’m not so sure it is.
When we embrace our path and grasp our role in the universe with both hands, we become empowered to do great things. When we align ourselves with who we were intended to become, simply as a side effect we will become stronger in both mind and in body. Our presence is more grand, we stand taller, we are more likely to smile, to sigh at the simple beauty of the world, to breathe deeply and to do more than just see our surroundings, we will live within them and we will create them to be what we wish them to be. Instead of allowing the world to take us places, we will take the world places.
When we are in the right place, we naturally become more confident, as we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are just where we are supposed to be and that knowing can bring tremendous comfort. Things that were difficult, suddenly become easy.
That feeling of calm and security with all things does not come without its price, however.
Bliss does not come without its responsibility. One must work at bliss.
Anyone who tells you the road to happiness is a straight and paved one, is either lying to you or has never seen it for themselves. The road is rocky, treacherous and dangerous. The demons of stagnation, doubt and fear lurk around every corner and will try to trip you, confuse you and take you away from your goal. The fog of indecision will come down upon you and you may loose your way and the great and terrible "what if" will rear its ugly head and breathe fire at your toes, screaming at you to "GO BACK!" like a terrible monster from a childhood nightmare.
The path is never a clear and easy one. The path will make you forget, and playing the role of Tom Bombadil, will show you how much easier it would be if you just stopped, had a quiet picnic on a grassy knoll and let time go by. The path will try to shelter you from storms- it will cover you with thick woods on either side, beckoning you to just stay a while longer… it’s cold and wet out there… there’s mud and wind… just stay… and sooner than you think, years have gone by Rip Van Winkle... and what did you do with all that time?
You have to be honest with yourself about what you want, enough to be willing to say no when the path wants to stop you. You must keep your wits about you and the sword of truth at your side. You have the ultimate responsibility, the one that is so very simple to ignore- the one that leads you to your own happiness.
But if you embrace it, you will gain great power.
If you choose not to, always remember- it was always your choice.
Now, on that note- Synchronicity happened and I randomly found an entry from a journal by Donna Metcalfe. She ws the owner of a shop called Good Scents in Redlands, CA. She was one of my biggest inspirations growing up and this is an entry from her blog. It still rings true and is well worth the read.
This find was proof that yes, the path may be cunning in trying to convince you to stand still, but it sometimes does show you signposts that you are still on your way in the right direction.
~
Excuses
by Donna Metcalfe
Whenever I hear someone give a reason for not doing something they say they’d really like to do, I always wonder why. I know why, I just wonder if they do.
It might sound like a perfectly good reason. The fact is that if that particular reasons or excuse is removed, there will be another one underneath it. And another one, like layers of an onion.
Because at the center is “I don’t want to.” That is the only basic reason for not doing something. The reasons for not wanting to can be good ones or silly ones, it doesn’t matter. “I don’t want to” is at the heart of it and beyond that you don’t have to look any farther.
This is because if they really wanted to, they’d already be doing it or making plans to do it; an excuse would be irrelevant! Whatever we really want to do, we set aside the necessary time, money and effort needed to do it. It doesn’t matter if someone else thinks we can’t do it, that doesn’t even come into the picture. Whatever is important to us to do, we find a way to do it.
Now maybe we have told ourselves that we should do something or should want to do something, but we really don’t want to. Maybe we are afraid to, or don’t want to put out the necessary effort. Maybe we don’t think we would like the consequences, or that someone else wouldn’t like it. That’s when we start making excuses for ourselves, to ourselves. This is where the “if only” come into play. If only something were different than what it is, things would be different for us.
Well, yes, if things were different, which they never are, we would be different, which we aren’t. Some how the excuses are meant to make us feel better about who we are and the way things are.
Well, things don’t become different until we make them so. Lying to ourselves is the most harmful lie there is. It keeps us from being able to change ourselves or our situation. What a tangle we get into by not accepting and admitting to ourselves what is really important to us.
To get untangled, a good first step is to stop making excuses to yourself about what you do or don’t do in your life. It doesn’t matter at this point whether you continue to give excuses to other people, although eventually you may want to stop that too. The only person you owe complete honesty to is yourself. If you don’t want to do something, let that be a good enough reason. you may choose to explore your reasons, or not. That can come later. First give yourself the freedom and power of honoring your gut feelings.
Take the pressure off the “shoulds” by examining each one to see if it truly matches with what you feel inside. This is a very good practice, learning how you really feel without making excuses for it. If you see something in yourself that you don’t like, you can always work on changing that, but not as long as you are making excuses. Gently push aside the excuses and look at what is the truth about how you feel. If the truth becomes too scary you can always cloak it again with excuses, but that doesn’t change the truth, only your perception of it. And no one says you have to look at the truth if you don’t want to, just don’t bother with the excuses!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Further discussion on control and identity
I believe that each of us is 100% in control of our environment, our bodies, our minds and our actions. I believe even our spirits are within our grasp, our fates, our futures and our pasts. I believe our spirits decide before we reach this earth what life will provide us the best karma for our progression throughout our existence and teach us the lessons we must learn this time around. I believe our birth, place, family, everything… is something we have chosen.
With this in mind, I continue.
Topics consistently arise that fall under the heading of control and I think it warrants another look into the topic.
People bring this up to me all the time with questions about how they can be in complete control when it certainly doesn’t feel like it.
Here are a few of the choice phrases I hear;
It’s not my fault, I wasn’t given an opportunity…
I didn’t cause this, I just have to live with it
Why should things be so hard for me?
Why am I the only one that has it so hard?
Each of these questions has an answer, albeit one that most don’t like to hear. Here are my responses to these questions, every time:
It’s not my fault, I wasn’t given an opportunity…
- So make your own opportunity. Why rely upon others or plain circumstance to create your future for you? Do you really wish to give up so much of yourself to everything around you?
I didn’t cause this, I just have to live with it
Perhaps you didn’t create it, perhaps you did… the choice is yours how you proceed after “it” has become a reality. You can be a victim or the warrior, your choice.
Why should things be so hard for me?
- If you are judging your life against others around you, you will forever be wanting and likely never happy with your own life. If you must look at your peers, see their strengths as lessons. Not as jabs at your life or proof that you had it harder than them. You can choose to rise above it, or wallow in it.
Why am I the only one that has it so hard?
- This is almost the same question, but the answer is a bit different. Never judge another’s hell, or another’s heaven. Each person is here to learn and grow. Your lessons are for you, not them. Their lessons are for them and not you. Just because you feel your hell is well, hellish… doesn’t devalue the lessons they learn within their own purgatory. Each of us has nightmares and closets with monsters and secrets; it’s best not to judge who’s is the deepest or yours truly will become the deepest of all.
-
This leads me to another piece of the same question- most people don’t consider it a part of the “control” discussion, but I feel it’s very connected. The trouble with identity is often where we are in life and who we are as individuals. Identity and control go hand in hand, as the ability to control your own destiny creates who you are as an individual.
People often come to me with their struggles saying things like;
I feel like I've done nothing I'm supposed to do in my life.
I feel like I abandoned who I was supposed to be years ago.
I have no idea who I am and I'm almost 35...
Now, I think it's perfectly normal to have these feelings. I sometimes fall into the trap of feeling angry, upset, anxious, frustrated… that others seem farther along in their paths than I am. I feel sometimes that I let myself break away from things I knew were true many years ago, and fought against it like a child fights against the bath. I fought and fought and now I feel I have wasted all those years fighting while everyone else was moving forward.
I question my identity, my purpose, my past, the validity of what I’ve learned and I question my value. To myself, my friends, society… and I worry that I am not worthy of the path I am seeking.
I think everyone does this at some point, probably not as publicly as I do, but I still think they do.
I realize of course, this couldn’t be farther from the truth- I have become the person I am now because of the lessons I learned through my experiences. I didn’t waste any time at all, I continued to grow and learn and as I did, more and more of my life became clear.
The simple truth is that I cannot be anyone else but me and no amount of wishing or feeling down on myself or wanting things that others have that will make it so. This life is no mistake and there are no other people I could be. I cannot look at others and be wanting, for their lives are not mine to want.
Now, I write all this because it has become acutely apparent to me that people all around me are struggling with this concept on a profound level.
So many people become trapped in the idea that they should become something, they should be a “man” they should be a “woman” and these labels drive nails into our psyche as we struggle to understand what they really mean and how these words relate to us as individuals.
For example; according to most people, a woman should be married or want to be married, have children or want to have children, be loving, kind and accommodating, sexy and good at entertaining, she should clean, cook and look beautiful while doing it and if you cannot multitask yourself to death in 86 different ways you are just not a woman.
When I was a child, I KNEW I would be a singer. I was a singer, an actress, a performer… for years that was my only ambition. That is still a huge piece of who I am, but I became more than just this one dimension as I got older, gained other interests and explored new paths.
At this point in my life today, all I can say is that I am a seeker. Seeking life, truth, knowledge, mystery and I am perfectly okay with the fact that you cannot classify this in a title under my signature or a business card. I have no need for a conventional identifier and I’m perfectly comfortable without one.
I recently demoted myself and took a job that was less responsibility and less pay than the one I’d had for almost three years. For a while, I struggled with my sense of identity, was embarrassed by calling myself a Lead instead of a Supervisor. I felt the title gave me credibility, gave my life meaning somehow, made me feel like I’d actually done something important with my life and the title was proof of my hard work and my intelligence. Ha! How wrong could one person be!
I am a teacher, a singer, a wife, a healer, a witch, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a writer, a painter and a million things in between those. I am who I am. Even though moments of feeling like I’m not in control, moments when I feel others’ will is a stronger force in my life than my own, I am reminded that through it all, I am always going to be me. That fact is power, as it reminds me that I am the one in control.
I choose to live an active, life full of learning and healing or a life of stagnation and want. I understand that this is my choice and my Will that makes it so, and no one else bullies me into it. No one holds a gun to my head and screams at me to come to work every day, I choose to do this because the preset need requires it, nothing more. I choose to take on so many tasks that I don’t have time for little else and I choose to become stressed when I overwhelm myself with all my tasks. I know this is my own choice and one day I will learn to pace myself a little more appropriately.
It makes me sad when people get so hung up on the titles, like the title is their personal flag of truth. I know that when I get hung up on it, it’s a temporary thing but I also know that for most people it isn’t. It’s something that keeps them up at night, makes them feel worthless and makes them feel powerless and empty.
It’s like they believe that without their flag, they have no identity.
People, I cannot stress this enough hope someday you see and understand; your title is not a coat of arms on a shield above your door for all to see.
Your flag is within you, the spark of life that gives it meaning and depth. It cannot be learned in a school, or given to you in a promotion, or handed to you as an ID badge at your job. You are still you, without the access card, the title under your signature, the nice car or the degree in whatever you went to school to learn.
And no, you are not your khaki’s.
You take these things with you but underneath them, you are still you. You are the you who learned the lessons, found sacred truths for yourself and build yourself an identity. Your title and what you do, what you look like, what you call yourself means little to your spirit.
You can call yourself a priestess, but any idiot off the street who has read Cunningham’s book on solitary Wicca can claim this right, but if they go back to a life of stagnation, polluting their bodies and hurting others, being spiteful and resentful with little care of anyone but themselves... Those people can claim the title, but they cannot claim the truth.
You can call yourself a man but does that mean you really are? Sure you have the look; you have all the parts and biology to claim the title, but just because you are male does not mean you are a man. And for the record, a title does not make you a man, either. You are or are not one to start with and only you can know the truth of this. You can lie to yourself and everyone else but your spirit knows where you stand.
Your spirit doesn’t care if you have money, if you have a nice car, your spirit doesn’t care if you are loved by others or are successful in your career. Your spirit only cares about your karma and the lessons you are here to learn. You can choose to live and learn them, live and ignore them… either way you have to live so why not make the most of it, right?
It's important to remember;
The titles are there to support the work you have done, not to be who you are. Live for the life, not the title. Live for the existence that each breath brings you, not for the notoriety that title affords.
With this in mind, I continue.
Topics consistently arise that fall under the heading of control and I think it warrants another look into the topic.
People bring this up to me all the time with questions about how they can be in complete control when it certainly doesn’t feel like it.
Here are a few of the choice phrases I hear;
It’s not my fault, I wasn’t given an opportunity…
I didn’t cause this, I just have to live with it
Why should things be so hard for me?
Why am I the only one that has it so hard?
Each of these questions has an answer, albeit one that most don’t like to hear. Here are my responses to these questions, every time:
It’s not my fault, I wasn’t given an opportunity…
- So make your own opportunity. Why rely upon others or plain circumstance to create your future for you? Do you really wish to give up so much of yourself to everything around you?
I didn’t cause this, I just have to live with it
Perhaps you didn’t create it, perhaps you did… the choice is yours how you proceed after “it” has become a reality. You can be a victim or the warrior, your choice.
Why should things be so hard for me?
- If you are judging your life against others around you, you will forever be wanting and likely never happy with your own life. If you must look at your peers, see their strengths as lessons. Not as jabs at your life or proof that you had it harder than them. You can choose to rise above it, or wallow in it.
Why am I the only one that has it so hard?
- This is almost the same question, but the answer is a bit different. Never judge another’s hell, or another’s heaven. Each person is here to learn and grow. Your lessons are for you, not them. Their lessons are for them and not you. Just because you feel your hell is well, hellish… doesn’t devalue the lessons they learn within their own purgatory. Each of us has nightmares and closets with monsters and secrets; it’s best not to judge who’s is the deepest or yours truly will become the deepest of all.
-
This leads me to another piece of the same question- most people don’t consider it a part of the “control” discussion, but I feel it’s very connected. The trouble with identity is often where we are in life and who we are as individuals. Identity and control go hand in hand, as the ability to control your own destiny creates who you are as an individual.
People often come to me with their struggles saying things like;
I feel like I've done nothing I'm supposed to do in my life.
I feel like I abandoned who I was supposed to be years ago.
I have no idea who I am and I'm almost 35...
Now, I think it's perfectly normal to have these feelings. I sometimes fall into the trap of feeling angry, upset, anxious, frustrated… that others seem farther along in their paths than I am. I feel sometimes that I let myself break away from things I knew were true many years ago, and fought against it like a child fights against the bath. I fought and fought and now I feel I have wasted all those years fighting while everyone else was moving forward.
I question my identity, my purpose, my past, the validity of what I’ve learned and I question my value. To myself, my friends, society… and I worry that I am not worthy of the path I am seeking.
I think everyone does this at some point, probably not as publicly as I do, but I still think they do.
I realize of course, this couldn’t be farther from the truth- I have become the person I am now because of the lessons I learned through my experiences. I didn’t waste any time at all, I continued to grow and learn and as I did, more and more of my life became clear.
The simple truth is that I cannot be anyone else but me and no amount of wishing or feeling down on myself or wanting things that others have that will make it so. This life is no mistake and there are no other people I could be. I cannot look at others and be wanting, for their lives are not mine to want.
Now, I write all this because it has become acutely apparent to me that people all around me are struggling with this concept on a profound level.
So many people become trapped in the idea that they should become something, they should be a “man” they should be a “woman” and these labels drive nails into our psyche as we struggle to understand what they really mean and how these words relate to us as individuals.
For example; according to most people, a woman should be married or want to be married, have children or want to have children, be loving, kind and accommodating, sexy and good at entertaining, she should clean, cook and look beautiful while doing it and if you cannot multitask yourself to death in 86 different ways you are just not a woman.
When I was a child, I KNEW I would be a singer. I was a singer, an actress, a performer… for years that was my only ambition. That is still a huge piece of who I am, but I became more than just this one dimension as I got older, gained other interests and explored new paths.
At this point in my life today, all I can say is that I am a seeker. Seeking life, truth, knowledge, mystery and I am perfectly okay with the fact that you cannot classify this in a title under my signature or a business card. I have no need for a conventional identifier and I’m perfectly comfortable without one.
I recently demoted myself and took a job that was less responsibility and less pay than the one I’d had for almost three years. For a while, I struggled with my sense of identity, was embarrassed by calling myself a Lead instead of a Supervisor. I felt the title gave me credibility, gave my life meaning somehow, made me feel like I’d actually done something important with my life and the title was proof of my hard work and my intelligence. Ha! How wrong could one person be!
I am a teacher, a singer, a wife, a healer, a witch, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a writer, a painter and a million things in between those. I am who I am. Even though moments of feeling like I’m not in control, moments when I feel others’ will is a stronger force in my life than my own, I am reminded that through it all, I am always going to be me. That fact is power, as it reminds me that I am the one in control.
I choose to live an active, life full of learning and healing or a life of stagnation and want. I understand that this is my choice and my Will that makes it so, and no one else bullies me into it. No one holds a gun to my head and screams at me to come to work every day, I choose to do this because the preset need requires it, nothing more. I choose to take on so many tasks that I don’t have time for little else and I choose to become stressed when I overwhelm myself with all my tasks. I know this is my own choice and one day I will learn to pace myself a little more appropriately.
It makes me sad when people get so hung up on the titles, like the title is their personal flag of truth. I know that when I get hung up on it, it’s a temporary thing but I also know that for most people it isn’t. It’s something that keeps them up at night, makes them feel worthless and makes them feel powerless and empty.
It’s like they believe that without their flag, they have no identity.
People, I cannot stress this enough hope someday you see and understand; your title is not a coat of arms on a shield above your door for all to see.
Your flag is within you, the spark of life that gives it meaning and depth. It cannot be learned in a school, or given to you in a promotion, or handed to you as an ID badge at your job. You are still you, without the access card, the title under your signature, the nice car or the degree in whatever you went to school to learn.
And no, you are not your khaki’s.
You take these things with you but underneath them, you are still you. You are the you who learned the lessons, found sacred truths for yourself and build yourself an identity. Your title and what you do, what you look like, what you call yourself means little to your spirit.
You can call yourself a priestess, but any idiot off the street who has read Cunningham’s book on solitary Wicca can claim this right, but if they go back to a life of stagnation, polluting their bodies and hurting others, being spiteful and resentful with little care of anyone but themselves... Those people can claim the title, but they cannot claim the truth.
You can call yourself a man but does that mean you really are? Sure you have the look; you have all the parts and biology to claim the title, but just because you are male does not mean you are a man. And for the record, a title does not make you a man, either. You are or are not one to start with and only you can know the truth of this. You can lie to yourself and everyone else but your spirit knows where you stand.
Your spirit doesn’t care if you have money, if you have a nice car, your spirit doesn’t care if you are loved by others or are successful in your career. Your spirit only cares about your karma and the lessons you are here to learn. You can choose to live and learn them, live and ignore them… either way you have to live so why not make the most of it, right?
It's important to remember;
The titles are there to support the work you have done, not to be who you are. Live for the life, not the title. Live for the existence that each breath brings you, not for the notoriety that title affords.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
On the issue of control
2/24/10
To control, To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him. –Buddha
That being said, if the Buddha says one should control himself, then so be it!
Ah, don't you wish it were that easy?
We have two different and contradictory camps in modern society; Those who wish to control only themselves, and those who believe a lack of control brings them closer to the divine.
Many cultures consider the body, mind, soul and everything therein something which can be controlled by the conscious Will.
Many other cultures believe the exact opposite. They believe you must release that control, understanding you never had it to begin with and one must have faith that whomever or whatever is at the helm, will guide you appropriately; but only if you believe.
So with these contradictions, how does one decide the issue of control in daily life? How does one shift from someone who knows they have complete control over themselves in every action/thought/deed to someone who can release these feelings to allow for things that are outside our control?
You see, I could go in circles with this for days, and I’m guessing anyone reading this could do the same.
Here’s the important factor, in my opinion;
Does it make you happy to know you control everything? Does it make you happy to give your faith to a higher place, be it fate, God, Goddess, etc?
Do you enjoy the idea that every moment is random chance, chaos in motion? Or, do you simply not care either way?
The true question is what makes you joyful. What makes you want to continue moving forward; Faith or personal power? The answer to this question can be put another way;
Do you choose the path of Severity or the path of Mercy?
Well, no one wants to be known as that “left hand path” person… It’s much safer to travel the light path, the right hand path, the path of light and joy and wisdom and beauty… right?
Well, I go back to an old cliché to address this:
“…there can be no good without evil, no love without hate, no heaven without hell, no light without darkness. The harmony of the universe depends upon an eternal balance. Out of the struggle to maintain this balance comes the birth of legends.” –Legend, 1985
That being the case, light and dark must balance and thus, we can maintain that we do in fact control our own minds and thoughts and actions however, thoughts and actions of others cannot be controlled by anyone else but them. We each can walk the path of the flaming sword, touching light and dark, mercy and severity, splendor and victory. Logical, right? So then, why do we constantly seek to control one another??? I suppose the bottom line that everyone says they know but rarely live by is the simply fact that we can only control others when they allow us to. If they give us that power, we can use it, however remember that they may do the same with you. That's where it becomes confusing; we want to control but we don't want to allow control in others. We tend to wish we could have the universe bend to our Will, but are frustrated when others think the same way! We are, in a sense... saying "all the ways are MY way"! How very Queen of Hearts we all are. ;-)
Every time we say, “you made me feel…” you are providing others that opportunity to control you. It’s funny how humans are vastly hypocritical. I can say, “I am woman, I am power, I am strength…” and in the same conversation, I can say, “he hurt me, he lied, he caused me pain, his actions have made me untrusting.”
So in this statement, I’ve said “I have the power.. but only when I don’t give it away. I control my actions, but only when things go well. If things don’t go well, it’s someone else’s fault. I’m in pain… and someone else did this TO me, I was just sitting here minding my own business, perfectly in control of my surroundings until HE came.”
I wonder how many people in this vast web are able to connect with their true motivations and recognize that in every moment, we are always in control.
But wait… you say, what about abuse? Rape? Attack and assault? How am I in control in these moments when someone else’s will overcomes my own, however in control I tried to be, how could I have been to blame in these moments?
To this, I ask you… why blame anyone? Does it serve your heart justice to point your rage at someone? Rape and assault changes the soul, wakes it up, breaks it just a little and in those breaks, grow new life and new understanding of self. New beginnings are allowed through the cracks of shattered lives. Unless you chose to be a victim, you can choose to accept the experience and learn from it. Either you allow the pain to consume you, rape you continually throughout your life until every moment is covered by a sense of brutal entitlement or… you choose to use it as fuel and power, building something new in the absence of innocence.
Every single thing you lose is replaced with something new. Basic physics teaches us this golden rule and in moments of grief, pain, loss and anger we can look to it as a guide; everything transforms and nothing really disappears, it simply changes.
So. Before you go blaming others for your emotional downfalls and tragedies, remember that you are the one in control of your own mind and thoughts. You decide who gets to manipulate you. If you allow yourself to be controlled, don’t get upset when you feel used and manipulated! Remember you chose to give it, so if you don’t like it, simply change your actions. Change your behavior, change your ability to give away that control and take it back. There is no point in pushing anger toward someone for what you freely gave to them; they’re simply reacting to their environment just as anyone would. If you choose to become angry or hurt by the actions of others, remember you are doing this, they cannot hurt you.
Only you can hurt you.
The Dalai Lama once said; “One can overcome the forces of negative emotions, like anger and hatred, by cultivating their counterforces, like love and compassion.”
By controlling our reactions to pain, by providing compassion instead of rage in situations where rage may feel called for, we foster the development of love in moments where no love could be seen. By counteracting our need to blame by allowing ourselves to love, we may find joy in any situation.
To control, To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him. –Buddha
That being said, if the Buddha says one should control himself, then so be it!
Ah, don't you wish it were that easy?
We have two different and contradictory camps in modern society; Those who wish to control only themselves, and those who believe a lack of control brings them closer to the divine.
Many cultures consider the body, mind, soul and everything therein something which can be controlled by the conscious Will.
Many other cultures believe the exact opposite. They believe you must release that control, understanding you never had it to begin with and one must have faith that whomever or whatever is at the helm, will guide you appropriately; but only if you believe.
So with these contradictions, how does one decide the issue of control in daily life? How does one shift from someone who knows they have complete control over themselves in every action/thought/deed to someone who can release these feelings to allow for things that are outside our control?
You see, I could go in circles with this for days, and I’m guessing anyone reading this could do the same.
Here’s the important factor, in my opinion;
Does it make you happy to know you control everything? Does it make you happy to give your faith to a higher place, be it fate, God, Goddess, etc?
Do you enjoy the idea that every moment is random chance, chaos in motion? Or, do you simply not care either way?
The true question is what makes you joyful. What makes you want to continue moving forward; Faith or personal power? The answer to this question can be put another way;
Do you choose the path of Severity or the path of Mercy?
Well, no one wants to be known as that “left hand path” person… It’s much safer to travel the light path, the right hand path, the path of light and joy and wisdom and beauty… right?
Well, I go back to an old cliché to address this:
“…there can be no good without evil, no love without hate, no heaven without hell, no light without darkness. The harmony of the universe depends upon an eternal balance. Out of the struggle to maintain this balance comes the birth of legends.” –Legend, 1985
That being the case, light and dark must balance and thus, we can maintain that we do in fact control our own minds and thoughts and actions however, thoughts and actions of others cannot be controlled by anyone else but them. We each can walk the path of the flaming sword, touching light and dark, mercy and severity, splendor and victory. Logical, right? So then, why do we constantly seek to control one another??? I suppose the bottom line that everyone says they know but rarely live by is the simply fact that we can only control others when they allow us to. If they give us that power, we can use it, however remember that they may do the same with you. That's where it becomes confusing; we want to control but we don't want to allow control in others. We tend to wish we could have the universe bend to our Will, but are frustrated when others think the same way! We are, in a sense... saying "all the ways are MY way"! How very Queen of Hearts we all are. ;-)
Every time we say, “you made me feel…” you are providing others that opportunity to control you. It’s funny how humans are vastly hypocritical. I can say, “I am woman, I am power, I am strength…” and in the same conversation, I can say, “he hurt me, he lied, he caused me pain, his actions have made me untrusting.”
So in this statement, I’ve said “I have the power.. but only when I don’t give it away. I control my actions, but only when things go well. If things don’t go well, it’s someone else’s fault. I’m in pain… and someone else did this TO me, I was just sitting here minding my own business, perfectly in control of my surroundings until HE came.”
I wonder how many people in this vast web are able to connect with their true motivations and recognize that in every moment, we are always in control.
But wait… you say, what about abuse? Rape? Attack and assault? How am I in control in these moments when someone else’s will overcomes my own, however in control I tried to be, how could I have been to blame in these moments?
To this, I ask you… why blame anyone? Does it serve your heart justice to point your rage at someone? Rape and assault changes the soul, wakes it up, breaks it just a little and in those breaks, grow new life and new understanding of self. New beginnings are allowed through the cracks of shattered lives. Unless you chose to be a victim, you can choose to accept the experience and learn from it. Either you allow the pain to consume you, rape you continually throughout your life until every moment is covered by a sense of brutal entitlement or… you choose to use it as fuel and power, building something new in the absence of innocence.
Every single thing you lose is replaced with something new. Basic physics teaches us this golden rule and in moments of grief, pain, loss and anger we can look to it as a guide; everything transforms and nothing really disappears, it simply changes.
So. Before you go blaming others for your emotional downfalls and tragedies, remember that you are the one in control of your own mind and thoughts. You decide who gets to manipulate you. If you allow yourself to be controlled, don’t get upset when you feel used and manipulated! Remember you chose to give it, so if you don’t like it, simply change your actions. Change your behavior, change your ability to give away that control and take it back. There is no point in pushing anger toward someone for what you freely gave to them; they’re simply reacting to their environment just as anyone would. If you choose to become angry or hurt by the actions of others, remember you are doing this, they cannot hurt you.
Only you can hurt you.
The Dalai Lama once said; “One can overcome the forces of negative emotions, like anger and hatred, by cultivating their counterforces, like love and compassion.”
By controlling our reactions to pain, by providing compassion instead of rage in situations where rage may feel called for, we foster the development of love in moments where no love could be seen. By counteracting our need to blame by allowing ourselves to love, we may find joy in any situation.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Some day...ish?
The very first post I put up here was about this mad revelation I experienced, causing me to immediately see what I've allowed myself to become and how a false perspective of security made me literally stand still. I said I was ready for a shift; and I said I'd take you with me.
Well, I've given this some more thought and realized that just because I'm on this journey doesn't mean that you will take your leap of faith into the great unknown to chart your path and create your future. Just because I've made this commitment, does not mean you will. Maybe you don't want to.
If you do not, that's okay too. I say; be happy... however you can be. Be true to yourself, be honest about who you are and what you want and don't lie to yourself.
If you truly do want the life you have, instead of playing the "I wish I had" game, smile and realize this is exactly where you want to be, your future is now and you have reached it.
But for those of you who do not want to be where you are...
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me they could have done something "if only", I'd be a millionaire.
So in preparation for all justifications about to go through your mind, I've created a little check list of questions for you. When you don't wish to move forward for whatever reason, or.. if you THINK you've moved forward just because you say you want to...here are a few things to ask yourself:
Do I apologize (to self or others) for my poor use of time?
Do I imagine I could be doing something more?
Do I blame others and circumstances beyond my control for my lack of motion in life?
Do I have a list of excuses ready for those who will question my stagnation?
Am I more preoccupied with the life I’d rather be living than the one I have now?
Am I angry, disappointed, and depressed on a regular basis?
Do I already know how to fix my discontent?
Do I spend most of my day plotting this great future, or am I actively living it?
The last question here may be the most important. I think most of us forget that we are living in the future every day.
One of the most frustrating things to me is the phrase "someday I will have..." Dreams are wonderful; when you are sleeping! Goals are admirable and useful tools to success, don't get me wrong. However, "someday-ing" your way through life while you continue to do nothing is not okay.
So if you are a sleepy someday person... it's time to wake up. The gentle beams of sunlit skies are playing at your windowsill, begging for you to come out and witness the dawn of your life.
It is time to realize you have been living your future for some time now, and nothing will ever happen if you don't step off that ledge and move forward.
I must warn you, however... Don't be fooled by activity, as action can lie to you! Action provides a false belief you are moving forward. Don't be fooled by the great treadmill of life! Just because you are busy, does not mean you are living!
Sometimes, being still is the most active and beneficial thing you can do for yourself.
If the first thought that came to your mind is; "I don't have time to sit still..." you REALLY need to reevaluate.
Next time you sit down in front of a television, in front of Facebook or video games, or books, whatever form your procrastination comes in... recognize it for what it is. Realize you are your worst enabler of non-action. If you want what you say you want that badly- you will, in that moment... make the necessary step.
All you have to do is be honest.
Well, I've given this some more thought and realized that just because I'm on this journey doesn't mean that you will take your leap of faith into the great unknown to chart your path and create your future. Just because I've made this commitment, does not mean you will. Maybe you don't want to.
If you do not, that's okay too. I say; be happy... however you can be. Be true to yourself, be honest about who you are and what you want and don't lie to yourself.
If you truly do want the life you have, instead of playing the "I wish I had" game, smile and realize this is exactly where you want to be, your future is now and you have reached it.
But for those of you who do not want to be where you are...
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me they could have done something "if only", I'd be a millionaire.
So in preparation for all justifications about to go through your mind, I've created a little check list of questions for you. When you don't wish to move forward for whatever reason, or.. if you THINK you've moved forward just because you say you want to...here are a few things to ask yourself:
Do I apologize (to self or others) for my poor use of time?
Do I imagine I could be doing something more?
Do I blame others and circumstances beyond my control for my lack of motion in life?
Do I have a list of excuses ready for those who will question my stagnation?
Am I more preoccupied with the life I’d rather be living than the one I have now?
Am I angry, disappointed, and depressed on a regular basis?
Do I already know how to fix my discontent?
Do I spend most of my day plotting this great future, or am I actively living it?
The last question here may be the most important. I think most of us forget that we are living in the future every day.
One of the most frustrating things to me is the phrase "someday I will have..." Dreams are wonderful; when you are sleeping! Goals are admirable and useful tools to success, don't get me wrong. However, "someday-ing" your way through life while you continue to do nothing is not okay.
So if you are a sleepy someday person... it's time to wake up. The gentle beams of sunlit skies are playing at your windowsill, begging for you to come out and witness the dawn of your life.
It is time to realize you have been living your future for some time now, and nothing will ever happen if you don't step off that ledge and move forward.
I must warn you, however... Don't be fooled by activity, as action can lie to you! Action provides a false belief you are moving forward. Don't be fooled by the great treadmill of life! Just because you are busy, does not mean you are living!
Sometimes, being still is the most active and beneficial thing you can do for yourself.
If the first thought that came to your mind is; "I don't have time to sit still..." you REALLY need to reevaluate.
Next time you sit down in front of a television, in front of Facebook or video games, or books, whatever form your procrastination comes in... recognize it for what it is. Realize you are your worst enabler of non-action. If you want what you say you want that badly- you will, in that moment... make the necessary step.
All you have to do is be honest.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Today
Morning Reading… on 2/1/10
In order of draw; High Priestess, The Fool, Queen of Batons, Seven of Batons, four of Batons and finally; Knight of Cups.
High Priestess – correspondences include the moon, and the Hebrew letter Beth or, “above” also representing a dwelling home or body- a containing form either human or brick & mortar and can be indicative of a spiritual vessel, a temple or a pregnant woman. She speaks to me, dark Egyptian eyes gazing through the familiar scene; I’ve pulled this card a thousand times but today, as it is every day, different from any before.
Sometimes she looks at me, scorning as a teacher does a petulant child. Sometimes she looks on me in pity, allowing me to kiss the hem of her dress and try again. This time, she gazes with a curious smile, just on the corners of her lips, folding her arms in front of her in carrying a secret knowledge that I might soon learn. To her left is a cup with a painted serpent and to her left is a tablet and brush. Behind her; Isis. The goddess of motherhood and fertility, the female of throne looks out with indifference and solidarity.
Next in line was the Fool; correspondences include fire and the Hebrew letter shin; which can be seen as a tooth. Three lines representing three roots of the molars, it is cosmic fire and the holy spirit. It represents acceptance, submission, taking in and transmuting energy. The fool is torn at the leg by a lynx, about to cross a crocodile filled river- unafraid and uncaring. The fool pays little attention to me, just reminding me that the journey may not be an easy one but it is a necessary one that will drive me forward to whatever end. The time is now, the journey has already begun- there’s no going back now!
The rest I’ll leave for my personal journal; no need to bore you with the details.
Today is 2/22, 2010. All entries up to this point were written over the course of this last month; simply all posted today. This entry leads us to present day; 1:11pm exactly as I type this.
The point to this entry and why I’m posting it here is to share with you my synchronistic turn of events. On 2/1, I was on the edge of a new era in my life. We had decided to start actively trying to build a family just after the new year, on the night of the blue moon in January we tried, did not succeed. The week of this reading, was the “window” of opportunity. It was also the same week as Imbolc, the festival of lights or otherwise called Candlemas. This is the festival of Brigid, the beginning of the light half of the year and the day in which we give thanks for the flow of life that pushes up the very first sprigs of spring growth. This is the time when seeds are planted in preparation for harvest. This is the time to build goals, make plans, create and jump on the bride’s train as she heads from the cold, dark and icy winter and grow warm with passion as the heat of the earth grows ever more radiant all around us.
During this sacred and glowing time of transition, I committed myself to a new life; that of a writer, a mystic, a healer, a painter and a mother. I gave the dark moon of January my fear, my vices, my limitations and my doubts that I may move forward into Imbolc with passionate purpose and deliver what I have to offer to the world, such as it may be.
This morning I closed the door on what is called the dreaded “two week wait” I prepped the soil, received the seed and simply had to wait to see if the roots took hold. It did not, as I began my moon cycle this morning. Such is the pain of creation, through trial and error, life will eventually take hold.
I meet this month head on, with some sadness but more determination than anything. I am in a creation period of my life, whether that be as a mother of children or a mother of ideas. I am continually shedding limitations as I go, feeding on the pain to build strength and push forward. I fear change. Being honest with myself, I fear it as much as I need it; as most humans do and I come to this new place in my life on the edge of all things in mist and fire, falling deep into the underworld of my soul that I might rise again with the dawn of the morning star, my life and body; a temple.
This quote ringing in my ears, the words of a character in a story about love, death, ghosts, magic and full moons and this quote will carry me forward into some of the most difficult decisions I've already made;
"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not a virtue; rather it denotes a lack of courage."
-- Frances Owens, Practical Magic
Random Contemplation; purging unhealthy habits
Several weeks ago I began contemplating all the various excuses I've given over the years as to why I have not yet lived the life I was intended to. I have been paying a bit more attention to the goings on within my mind and thoughts, my current situation, what I’m frustrated with, where I’d like to be in my world and I realized that most of this longing is all for a life that I felt I could not have unless x, y and z were completed. Who made up these rules? I did. I chose to set up roadblocks and prevent my own success by putting conditions on it that never made sense. Shortly before Christmas this year, something in me snapped and I began seeing clearly.
I stopped smoking, limited my caffeine intake from nearly 9 cups to 1 cup of coffee per day, 2 max. I’ve limited myself when it comes to alcoholic drinks, I’m minimizing my intake of fast food, red meat and overly processed foods. I’m taking vitamins and sleeping better, I went back to school and I’ve once again after years… started meditating, practicing and rebuilding my connection with the Divine.
I have begun writing a great deal since then and I created this blog.
It's been too long that I've chosen to pretend I don't know what my path has to offer and out of fear I have rejected that path far too long. I hate to say that I have a plan... lol... these things ought to be fluid in motion and allowed to wander as the needs grow and change, but I have I should say, a path in front of me that I am already walking. No longer saying "I'm going to..." but saying instead, "I've already begun.”
I used to read a lot, books like Way of the Peaceful Warrior and all sorts of Richard Bach books, all kinds of things that provide a sense of purpose and passion for life. Where did I fall away from the goals that were set in that time of my life? I wonder… But that will be another blog for another day. ;-)
I stopped smoking, limited my caffeine intake from nearly 9 cups to 1 cup of coffee per day, 2 max. I’ve limited myself when it comes to alcoholic drinks, I’m minimizing my intake of fast food, red meat and overly processed foods. I’m taking vitamins and sleeping better, I went back to school and I’ve once again after years… started meditating, practicing and rebuilding my connection with the Divine.
I have begun writing a great deal since then and I created this blog.
It's been too long that I've chosen to pretend I don't know what my path has to offer and out of fear I have rejected that path far too long. I hate to say that I have a plan... lol... these things ought to be fluid in motion and allowed to wander as the needs grow and change, but I have I should say, a path in front of me that I am already walking. No longer saying "I'm going to..." but saying instead, "I've already begun.”
I used to read a lot, books like Way of the Peaceful Warrior and all sorts of Richard Bach books, all kinds of things that provide a sense of purpose and passion for life. Where did I fall away from the goals that were set in that time of my life? I wonder… But that will be another blog for another day. ;-)
On Grief...
A few choice quotations regarding death and grief:
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran
Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa
If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill
The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep. ~Henry Maudsley
Wise advice from those who knew grief well enough within their lives to discuss the topic as experts. However, none are true experts as each moment affects everyone differently.
I find it strange that in times of transition such as death and illness, friends leaving or family passing from this world, we are so quick to discuss “I” as the primary concern. Such a profound change for the one who is the true subject and yet, we spend our time focusing on what we shall loose. How selfish of us! To mark the passing of a loved one, be it moving 8000 miles away or, passing from this world, rejoice for them, be glad for them… usher them into their new world and new adventures with joy and raise a toast to the lives they touched and the influences they left. Their thumbprint on the universe does not fade as long as we do not forget.
The definition of mourning according to the 1911 printing of the Encyclopedia Britannica, the entomology of the word is as follows: “from the verb "to mourn," to be sorrowful, O. Eng. murnan; cf. O.H.G. mornen, Goth. maurnan, to be anxious, O.N. morna, to pine away; by some referred to root seen in Gr. p ptpva, sorrow, by others to root mer-, to die)”
It further defines the word to mean; “The expression of grief or sorrow particularly for the dead; more specifically the outward or conventional signs of such grief. The public exhibition of this grief for the dead has taken various forms among different races and in different ages, from shaving of the head, or allowing the beard and hair to grow, from disfiguring the face and uttering loud wailing cries, to the wearing of clothes of a particular colour, now among Western races usually black, and to the purely conventional custom of using black-edged note-paper, cards, &c.”
This definition can be found at the following link:
http://www.1911encyclopedia.org/Mourning
So then, what can we learn from this turn of the century definition? I find it to mean that to mourn is to express outwardly, the grief we feel at someone’s passing.
Now let’s check out the modern Oxford dictionary definition;
mourning
• noun 1 the experience or expression of deep sorrow for someone who has died. 2 black clothes conventionally worn in a period of mourning.
This definition can be found here:
http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/mourning?view=uk
So what does this show us? Well for one thing, a hundred years ago we used a great deal more words to say the exact same thing. ;-) Beyond this, it shows times haven’t changed much in the western world.
Now just for comparison sake, let’s see what those in the Eastern world have to say on the topic; in Taoism, the concern is with life and living, not in death and dying. As such, death is of little consequence, merely another transition along one’s path toward enlightenment. Just as death is not the end, neither is birth the beginning. We exist, eternally and ultimately in a constant state of transition for all infinity.
Personally, I rather like this last concept the best. It provides a great deal more hope than other philosophies, in that it considers that our lives as we know them are simply moments within our greater existence. That beyond this world, is another consciousness that knows far more than we recognize.
If we explore this idea; (as my brain begins to hurt…) The concept of Taoism is to live within the moment, correct? Neither here nor there, no past or future- simply making choices as they arrive and walking the path as it is laid beneath our feet.
So, if we can translate this concept of “the now” into the realm of life and death and what was before and what comes next… we may consider that the reason we don’t have any true idea of our spirit’s wanderings prior to or after this life is simply because our spirit dwells perfectly within the now. We cannot see beyond it; as it simply does not matter in this moment. It mattered before, when we were there… and what happens next will happen then… and we’ll know about that when we get there. A possibility? Why not?
So now, back to the idea of mourning; we grieve our own losses, not the journey for those we have lost. We allow our selfish hold upon the world to grasp at others’ spirits as they pass.
A typical trick for grief counselors is to allow the following processes to take place in those who are grief stricken; denial, bargaining, anger, sadness/depression and finally acceptance.
These are the same stages provided by most psychologists for dealing with ones own mortality. How interesting that modern psychology uses the same technique for one’s own death as it does for the deaths of those we love.
I think this leads me to my final conclusion on the subject;
Grief and mourning take place as we pass through any transition. We rarely notice most of our losses, however we go through several a day! When we start a venture, we are loosing the previous one. When we are in a relationship, we loose our title of “single”. When we are married, we are no longer available. When we are parents, we are no longer childless. When we are employed, we are no longer free to pursue a career, as we already have one. When we wake, we loose our status of being asleep.
We transition and loose things, and statuses and titles every day if you think about it. There is a period of mourning afforded to each transition some handle these more easily than others. Some adapt and move forward, and others cling, find it difficult to move on, or out of fear of loss, they simply don’t move anywhere.
Perhaps this means then, for those that struggle with moving forward in their lives and those that seem to live stagnant, unfulfilled existences- perhaps they should consider that they are not afraid, but instead grieving- mourning a life that has or will be altered by that change. Let’s toast to change, embrace life and our choices to move forward. Don’t fear the past, or the future- just be. And be happy, while we’re at it. ;-)
An entry from the vaults
I wrote this after a particularly dark period in my life, when I contemplated my purpose and considered the worst of myself. I thought it important to post it here, so it could be seen clearly that although I might know what to do, I struggle with the decision every day and sometimes the rage in the world takes over, even the most diligent of students seeking peace. So here it is;
**
Have to renew my faith in humanity again.
How do you do that when everything you see, when 90% of everything you come in contact with is weakness, stupidity, blind faith, nothing but ego, obsession with the dollar and greed?
How do you fight for good when it seems like the only good that you can create will come out of the destruction of nearly everything?
Somehow I have to find a way to remember that human kind is worth saving, worth wanting to be a part of it.
I'm not saying it's impossible. I'm saying.. I can't see it. I'm saying, it doesn't seem worth the fight anymore.
And I'm just so tired of pretending to care. I'm tired of catering to stupidity and selfishness.
I'm tired of the safe, comfortable approach. I'm sick to death with politically correct and new math and don't ask don't tell and banning dodge ball. I'm disgusted with this incessant need of people to have to cater to the lowest common denominator in humanity.
I saw a lady walking down the street the other day. She had a jacked up, broken umbrella. I drove around the block and back up to where she was to give her a new one, cuz I had two in my trunk. I just handed it to her and walked away, hoping it made her smile. Even if I don't have faith, I hope others still do. Even if I don't, if I can give someone else a little something to help them through the day, then rock on. All I can do is what I do.
The world, the people, all of us... is it all really worth saving the infection?
**
What I learned took all this time to see; destruction is life. Darkness creates dawn and balance is the key to all things. Patience proves all mysteries and in the dirty, dark terrible storms of rage, comes the fruitful, clear skies of peace. War, death, love and pleasure all circle around the same bright star of truth;
Ishtar's brilliant morning star of guidance.
Everything came full circle as I reread this and I came to understand my place in this vast web of insanity. I always said I served the purpose of creating necessary destruction. I always felt that I was a catalyst of chaos and change, and yet... I sat for years in my cave, fearing the outside, the sun on my face was terrifying and I couldn't begin to take those steps.
Funny thing happened, though... I realized I'd been taking them all along and I wasn't even seeing it.
The world is full of pain, greed and anger. These are not things to be disgusted by, simply to be seen as part of the process. Although we may not enjoy them, just as we didn't enjoy the ache in our bodies as we grew as children. We may not enjoy the mire of disease and the filth of evil deeds any more than we did the acne on our faces and the awkward confusion of our youth, but it was all necessary.
We are all agents of chaos, we are all the enforcers of peace. It is our nature to be both parents and death dealers and our human condition ensures we are both Batman and Joker in every moment.
A very wise person once said, pain is weakness leaving the body. Pain, as it is experienced on earth, is a new lesson for all of us, building greater strength as we grow.
Choices
When making life choices...
Holding true to your nature and your personal set of values is most important, above all things. It is essential to stretch out, to gain new knowledge and to push the boundaries so that you may learn where your limitations are, seek to overcome them and challenge yourself to always reach to new heights. Ultimately, each life experience should be in alignment with your true self. To me, I don’t think of my service to others as changing myself for their needs, because I’m in service to others, which ultimately stays within my realm of “right,” no matter what. However, if I were asked to change core personality traits for the sake of others, to be what someone else wanted, this no longer fits into my true nature. With that also goes the fact that the longer I fight to be something I are not for the sake of an ideal, the more miserable I will become.
The lesson to be learned is simply to remember that in all things, truth is the most valuable gift that can be given to the self and those around you.
That’s my thought for the day.
Holding true to your nature and your personal set of values is most important, above all things. It is essential to stretch out, to gain new knowledge and to push the boundaries so that you may learn where your limitations are, seek to overcome them and challenge yourself to always reach to new heights. Ultimately, each life experience should be in alignment with your true self. To me, I don’t think of my service to others as changing myself for their needs, because I’m in service to others, which ultimately stays within my realm of “right,” no matter what. However, if I were asked to change core personality traits for the sake of others, to be what someone else wanted, this no longer fits into my true nature. With that also goes the fact that the longer I fight to be something I are not for the sake of an ideal, the more miserable I will become.
The lesson to be learned is simply to remember that in all things, truth is the most valuable gift that can be given to the self and those around you.
That’s my thought for the day.
The simplicity of change
Do you think that life is made of candy and flowers and sunshine? Or is it made of iron and steel and fire? Are you more inclined to believe humans are self absorbed, disingenuous asses, or good-natured yet, scarred, victimized children trapped in adult’s worries and fears?
Do you believe in the idea that people are inherently good, that we all have darkness within us, burning to get out, or that we are ignorant fools easily swayed by unseen forces of doom that we must shun and fear in order to keep ourselves honest?
Personally, I think we think about what goes on in others' head’s way too much. I’d like to further understand my own mind and consciousness and with that understanding, help others. I’d like to be a light that shines on possibilities that others might grasp, so they may find their bliss and move forward in their lives, successfully. I’d love to think that within us all is a raging demon and a glorious angelic force, not foes but friends.. equal and vital, and necessary to existence. That succumbing to the sins of our demons gives us knowledge and power and that little tilt on the corner of our mouths as we smirk with secret knowing and our angel feels compassion for all around us, fearing nothing and guiding us toward our true selves.
I am forever the catalyst and will gladly lay the stonework across rivers and light candles in dark hallways for those who are willing to travel.
I don’t really pass judgment, I just try to help. Okay, so maybe I pass judgment. LOL… but I try not to be too mean about it.
Sometimes.
Okay, if you’re really stupid and doing nothing in your life but reacting and don’t actually use your brain, I’ll probably be really mean about it.
No one should be allowed to have a brain and a soul and do nothing with it. If you’re going to be a victim your whole life, you might as well shoot yourself in the face and get it over with.
Seriously, there’s nothing worse than some poor sap who would rather talk about how horrible their life is while they do NOTHING to fix it.
So you have a choice; do you choose to be a victim or a hero? Do you save yourself, or wait for someone to rescue you from your tower?
That is a question only you can answer, but make no mistake; you choose your reality. If you aren't happy with the answer, change it. It really is as simple as it sounds. All you have to do is jump and instinct will do the rest for you.
Do you believe in the idea that people are inherently good, that we all have darkness within us, burning to get out, or that we are ignorant fools easily swayed by unseen forces of doom that we must shun and fear in order to keep ourselves honest?
Personally, I think we think about what goes on in others' head’s way too much. I’d like to further understand my own mind and consciousness and with that understanding, help others. I’d like to be a light that shines on possibilities that others might grasp, so they may find their bliss and move forward in their lives, successfully. I’d love to think that within us all is a raging demon and a glorious angelic force, not foes but friends.. equal and vital, and necessary to existence. That succumbing to the sins of our demons gives us knowledge and power and that little tilt on the corner of our mouths as we smirk with secret knowing and our angel feels compassion for all around us, fearing nothing and guiding us toward our true selves.
I am forever the catalyst and will gladly lay the stonework across rivers and light candles in dark hallways for those who are willing to travel.
I don’t really pass judgment, I just try to help. Okay, so maybe I pass judgment. LOL… but I try not to be too mean about it.
Sometimes.
Okay, if you’re really stupid and doing nothing in your life but reacting and don’t actually use your brain, I’ll probably be really mean about it.
No one should be allowed to have a brain and a soul and do nothing with it. If you’re going to be a victim your whole life, you might as well shoot yourself in the face and get it over with.
Seriously, there’s nothing worse than some poor sap who would rather talk about how horrible their life is while they do NOTHING to fix it.
So you have a choice; do you choose to be a victim or a hero? Do you save yourself, or wait for someone to rescue you from your tower?
That is a question only you can answer, but make no mistake; you choose your reality. If you aren't happy with the answer, change it. It really is as simple as it sounds. All you have to do is jump and instinct will do the rest for you.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
What I'm doing here
I don’t presume to think that what I write is really all that interesting. I don’t expect that people will read this thinking, “OMG that’s the most insightful thing I have ever heard, all my life’s problem are over.” In fact, as I write this, I’m almost embarrassed to consider posting it, for fear of seeming terribly arrogant. Like what I have to write is really worth taking up space on the internets? Ha!
What I do presume however, is that I am not the only person who struggles with the things I think about.
I do make the leap of faith that I’m one of many, “not a unique snowflake” and that I rage against the dying of the light just as much as most others in the world, only… no one really talks about it.
Not really.
Poets and authors a hundred years ago did on a daily basis and then we became cold somehow. The industrial revolution in the western world carried away our ability to think slowly and contemplate things like love and compassion on black smoke stacks, laying cold concrete in its wake. Electric timers robbed us, little by little; of an age when walking was time to contemplate; not to loose those ten extra pounds. We are deprived of that opportunity to question and imagine things. Like… what if the universe was inside a single drop of rain?
These precious, silent and still moments were replaced by power walkers and deadlines and 5am alarms and bosses to meet with bottom lines and CEO’s that all want to make money for as little as possible.
When you stop for a moment, you do remember that those that control these major corporations started out as regular dudes with ideas and dreams, and their dreams manifested into tremendous companies full of opportunities for others’ creativity. We are quick to judge these men and women, but truly, how are we really any different? That’s something to contemplate while you’re walking down the street instead of speeding down the freeway. I have no time for that type of contemplation.
So, anyway… in this world of anger, no time, nothing for free, fast lanes, drive thru’s, 30 minutes or less living, there are those that thrive on it and those that have broken away from it.
There tend to be two kinds of people in our modern society; Those that are above all the rage of modern existence and the angst that can accumulate within the common person’s life, doing what they can to help, or; those that just talk. They talk about others who are miserable, watching reality shows, listening to news radio and raise their blood pressure just by thinking about how angry they are, stroking their own egos as they spout their frustrations, living as voyeurs that would rather watch others fail than live their own lives.
There are very few out there that are willing to be honest. Tell it like it is, in their own minds, exposing everything to 300 billion of their fellow humans and maybe, just maybe… start a spark or two inside the eyes of someone who feels like they’re dying inside.
Okay, okay, maybe not quite as tragic as all that but you get the idea.
I really don’t think that what I have to say is unique. I’m just willing to say it out loud when many others aren’t. Maybe this helps, maybe not. Either way, it's here. Take what is usefully and discard the rest.
What I do presume however, is that I am not the only person who struggles with the things I think about.
I do make the leap of faith that I’m one of many, “not a unique snowflake” and that I rage against the dying of the light just as much as most others in the world, only… no one really talks about it.
Not really.
Poets and authors a hundred years ago did on a daily basis and then we became cold somehow. The industrial revolution in the western world carried away our ability to think slowly and contemplate things like love and compassion on black smoke stacks, laying cold concrete in its wake. Electric timers robbed us, little by little; of an age when walking was time to contemplate; not to loose those ten extra pounds. We are deprived of that opportunity to question and imagine things. Like… what if the universe was inside a single drop of rain?
These precious, silent and still moments were replaced by power walkers and deadlines and 5am alarms and bosses to meet with bottom lines and CEO’s that all want to make money for as little as possible.
When you stop for a moment, you do remember that those that control these major corporations started out as regular dudes with ideas and dreams, and their dreams manifested into tremendous companies full of opportunities for others’ creativity. We are quick to judge these men and women, but truly, how are we really any different? That’s something to contemplate while you’re walking down the street instead of speeding down the freeway. I have no time for that type of contemplation.
So, anyway… in this world of anger, no time, nothing for free, fast lanes, drive thru’s, 30 minutes or less living, there are those that thrive on it and those that have broken away from it.
There tend to be two kinds of people in our modern society; Those that are above all the rage of modern existence and the angst that can accumulate within the common person’s life, doing what they can to help, or; those that just talk. They talk about others who are miserable, watching reality shows, listening to news radio and raise their blood pressure just by thinking about how angry they are, stroking their own egos as they spout their frustrations, living as voyeurs that would rather watch others fail than live their own lives.
There are very few out there that are willing to be honest. Tell it like it is, in their own minds, exposing everything to 300 billion of their fellow humans and maybe, just maybe… start a spark or two inside the eyes of someone who feels like they’re dying inside.
Okay, okay, maybe not quite as tragic as all that but you get the idea.
I really don’t think that what I have to say is unique. I’m just willing to say it out loud when many others aren’t. Maybe this helps, maybe not. Either way, it's here. Take what is usefully and discard the rest.
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