Several weeks ago I began contemplating all the various excuses I've given over the years as to why I have not yet lived the life I was intended to. I have been paying a bit more attention to the goings on within my mind and thoughts, my current situation, what I’m frustrated with, where I’d like to be in my world and I realized that most of this longing is all for a life that I felt I could not have unless x, y and z were completed. Who made up these rules? I did. I chose to set up roadblocks and prevent my own success by putting conditions on it that never made sense. Shortly before Christmas this year, something in me snapped and I began seeing clearly.
I stopped smoking, limited my caffeine intake from nearly 9 cups to 1 cup of coffee per day, 2 max. I’ve limited myself when it comes to alcoholic drinks, I’m minimizing my intake of fast food, red meat and overly processed foods. I’m taking vitamins and sleeping better, I went back to school and I’ve once again after years… started meditating, practicing and rebuilding my connection with the Divine.
I have begun writing a great deal since then and I created this blog.
It's been too long that I've chosen to pretend I don't know what my path has to offer and out of fear I have rejected that path far too long. I hate to say that I have a plan... lol... these things ought to be fluid in motion and allowed to wander as the needs grow and change, but I have I should say, a path in front of me that I am already walking. No longer saying "I'm going to..." but saying instead, "I've already begun.”
I used to read a lot, books like Way of the Peaceful Warrior and all sorts of Richard Bach books, all kinds of things that provide a sense of purpose and passion for life. Where did I fall away from the goals that were set in that time of my life? I wonder… But that will be another blog for another day. ;-)
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